Dolly Parton on Motherhood and Infertility
Following Dolly Parton's death, her public views on infertility and choosing not to parent are being revisited.
Following the death of Dolly Parton, conversations have turned to her personal life, including her journey with infertility. The country music icon, who died this week, was unable to have biological children but spoke publicly about finding peace and purpose in that reality.
A personal essay published on Refinery29 explores how Parton's legacy provided solace to the author during her own fertility struggles. The author recounts listening to the "Dolly Parton's America" podcast during walks taken to grieve a pregnancy loss. The essay states that Parton and her husband, Carl, tried for years to conceive. Parton reportedly suffered from endometriosis, which led to a partial hysterectomy.
Public Statements on Motherhood
In the wake of her death, several of Parton's past interviews about motherhood have resurfaced online. The source cites specific quotes attributed to the singer.
In a 2017 appearance on the Today show, Parton said, "God has a plan for everything." Speaking to Andy Warhol for Interview Magazine, she stated, "I couldn’t have children, I tried to for years. I’ve never been pregnant in my life... I don’t miss it."
She also mentioned raising five younger siblings and being called "Aunt Grannie" by their children. In a 1978 BBC interview, she was quoted as saying, "We don’t want children of our own… we don’t want the total responsibility."
A Complicated Narrative
The essay argues that simplifying Parton's story as a conscious, early choice to be "childfree" does a disservice. It notes that her infertility was not a choice, but the result of a medical condition. The author points to the complexity of reconciling years of disappointment with her ultimate public acceptance.
This nuance was reportedly missed in some tributes. The source references a Washington Post article by Ashley Fetters Maloy titled "Why it matters that Dolly Parton wasn’t a mother." The Post's social media promotion of the piece stated, "Parton’s lack of children demonstrated that the world could in fact love a woman who wasn’t a mother." This framing, according to the essay, sparked backlash for potentially glossing over the pain of infertility.
The author agrees with the broader sentiment about societal pressures on women. Examples given include JD Vance's reported disparagement of "childless cat ladies" and online criticism directed at women like Oprah Winfrey and Tracee Ellis Ross for their choices. The rise of the "tradwife" movement is also mentioned as making the choice to be childfree appear radical.
A Legacy of Care
Despite not being a parent, Dolly Parton's philanthropic work focused heavily on children. Her Imagination Library is cited as having provided hundreds of millions of books to children. She was also a godmother to Miley Cyrus and helped raise her younger siblings.
The essay concludes that Parton found her role as an aunt, godmother, and philanthropist to be "enough." For the author, facing a third unsuccessful pregnancy, Parton's perspective offers a form of comfort. She describes hearing "9 to 5" playing in the waiting room of a fertility clinic appointment scheduled after Parton's death.
